Live In Mindfulness

“Do not pursue the past.

Do not lose yourself in the future.

The past no longer is.

The future has not yet come.

Looking deeply at life as it is

in the very here and now,

the practitioner dwells

in stability and freedom.

We must be diligent today.

To wait till tomorrow is too late.

Death comes unexpectedly.

How can we bargain with it?

The sage calls a person who

dwells in mindfulness

night and day ‘the one who knows

the better way to live alone."  The Buddha

Hit the Reset Button on Your Mind

It is in mindfulness training that we come to an understanding that the mind is neither your enemy nor your friend. It thinks, creates, makes decisions, warns us, chastises us, and calculates doing all manner of things both to our advantage and to our detriment.

So often, however, we become enmeshed in our mind that it begins to rule our life creating so much emotional pain. It is when we get pulled into its ‘story’ that we begin to get caught in a vicious cycle of despair. We become like someone caught in quicksand struggling to get out. The more we struggle the deeper in we go.

According to the World Health Organization depression is fast becoming the most predominant illness in Western society above heart disease and cancer. Depression is in its basic form none other than an extreme unhappiness. Yet we live in societies overweight with material possessions and the discarded paraphernalia of our happiness pursuits. Never before has humanity searched happiness with such intensity and desperation. The advertising media has taken advantage of this despair leading us to believe that our life will be better if we just buy this or that product. As most of us are only to painfully aware this only creates momentary relief. We have become addicted to momentary relief over long term satisfaction.

Mindfulness is a process that trains us to be aware of both the happiness illusion and the short term relief addiction. Mindfulness training teaches us to recognize our thoughts and feelings for what they really are. Thoughts are none other than words strung together. Words in turn are but shapes and strokes, curls and dashes. Thoughts as feelings and memories are none other than pictures no more than the colours pixels on the flat screen on the living room TV. None of these things can harm us. Yet we spend an inordinate amount of time avoiding or trying to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings. We do this in many ways: watch TV, surf the net, drink alcohol, have sex, take pills all in an attempt to squash or avoid unpleasant thoughts and feeling. While some of these coping mechanisms in themselves are not harmful, in the long term they can be or in the least just preventing us from living the valued life we want to live.

In mindfulness training we understand that we cannot remove thoughts from our mind. They will always return. What we can do, however, is hit the reset button and observe the thoughts and feelings from a distance – a bit like watching a boxing match on TV rather than being in the fight itself. Inner happiness is attained by accepting the dissatisfaction and living a valued life in spite of painful or depressive thoughts and feelings, not trying to avoid them. Therein lays the secret of mindfulness and inner happiness.

It only takes a few seconds to hit the reset button on the mind. Here’s how:

1. Stop
2. Observe the thoughts or feelings. Say to yourself: “I notice that I am having the thought that (then whatever the thought or feeling is).
3. Breathe into the painful feelings giving them space and softening them while not trying to get rid of them.
4. Become connected to the present moment.

Hitting the reset button helps us to get out of our minds and back into life. Mindfulness is a starting point and entry level to inner happiness. There is even more to come.

Mindfulness and Anxiety - Stop Running from the Wind

Once upon a time in old China a Buddhist Master caught sight of a man running down the road with all his might. He looked exhausted and frantic. “What are you running from?” inquired the Master. “I am running from the wind”, exclaimed the man. “Oh, there is nothing to fear then. Just sit still and it will pass you by”, returned the master. This is a simple enough parable but speaks deeply of Mindfulness and anxiety.

We often spend a huge amount of time and energy running from things. In fact it is a huge problem for society and is in endemic proportion. In our attempts to out run our fear, painful thoughts and feelings, loneliness and unhappiness our methods only end up creating far more suffering. Addictions provide an obvious example. In the attempt to avoid boredom, pain, loneliness, anger and sadness the addict only gets himself into more despair in the long term. As a result of his behaviour he creates guilt, isolation which creates even more loneliness, financial loss which creates even more despair. It is a vicious cycle. We don’t need to be the stereotypic addict to be in this cycle.

Anxiety disorder is another example. It is not the anxiety which creates anxiety disorder. After all, anxiety is a normal emotion which we all experience. At the core of anxiety is avoidance – a life of trying to avoid or get rid of anxiety which in turn creates even more anxiety. This is at the core of a panic attack.

In Mindfulness Training we learn to accept and even give space to unpleasant or painful emotions or thoughts. Mindfulness Training teaches us to accept them for what they are – just thoughts. This is not the same as avoiding or even tolerating unpleasant thoughts. Even tolerating can create a struggle. Many therapies aim at symptom reduction or eradication. The problem here is that we will always be “checking” to see is the symptom is going or gone thus creating what we are trying to get rid of – the anxiety!

At the heart of Mindfulness Training is giving space for the anxiety to be. We are able to stand back out of the struggle as if we are the spectators of a boxing match. We watch the fight but we are not part of it being punched up by the thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness is about breathing into the anxiety and giving it space, naming it, watching it like some creature from out of space but never giving in to it.

If we try to run form our anxiety we will exhaust ourselves like the man running from the wind. The old Master was right. Sit still, breathe, observe and it will pass you by.