What am I doing here?

Ever been confronted by this question? If you are like me I am sure you have. . .many times!

So, we have stepped into another year. January marks the beginning of the New Year. The name of the month is interesting. “January” is derived from the name of an ancient Roman god: Janus. Janus was the god of beginnings and endings, doorways and arches. It is an appropriate name for the month marking the beginning of the year. We look back at the year gone and we look forward to the year ahead.

At this time of the year we often reflect: Where am I headed? What are my goals for 2010? In the T’ai Shen Pureland Sangha and the Retreat Centre as we come to the end of our morning “nienfo” and meditation we recite together the dedication:

With the wish to help all beings,
may all my thoughts, words and actions
be void of attachment and ego;
May they arise from Compassion and Wisdom
and may they be imbued with
Patience and Joy.

The first seven words of this dedication are important: With the wish to help all beings. In these words contain the answer to the question: “What am I doing here?” As practicing Buddhists our vocation is just that – to help all beings. This is Bodhicitta – the mind of compassion. It is also enshrines the Bodhisattva’s vow: May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings; not Buddhahood for ourselves, not a personal and private “nirvana” but so that all beings may also experience this.

The next question is: How do I help? The second sentence of the dedication gives us a clue. The biggest hindrances to us are attachment and self-cherishing. Most often the two go hand in hand. All our actions and outcomes are a result of our thinking. When our private thought space is filled with thoughts of attachment to all those things with which we are familiar: our possessions, our ideas, or relationships our goals etc and when they are motivated by self-cherishing then we open ourselves to catching a ‘virus’ which we pass on to those around us. Perhaps I sound a bit heavy. A virus? When our thoughts are coloured by grasping and self we will ultimately become unhappy and others sense and respond from our moods. It’s catchy – like a virus! I remember my little dog used to sense my down moods and come and place her head on my knees and look sadly into my eyes. Animals sense these things and so do humans. It is not that things, ideas, relationships or goals are wrong. No! It is a matter of how we hold them.

So how does all this work out in our daily life? It all seems quite easy within the space of the meditation hall surrounded by our dharma friends. But soon we will walk out into the streets, drive on the roads, go to our jobs and be with our family and friends. I find by continually asking myself the question: “How am I helping all beings?” is useful. Am I helping other drivers on the road to have a safe and happy journey by driving carefully and responsibly? Am I helping my boss have a successful business by me doing my work honestly and diligently? Am I helping my friends giving them the joy and happiness of friendship by being encouraging and thoughtful? Am I doing my best to help relieve the suffering of animals in distress? Do I actively cherish nature (all beings!)? Am I a guiding light to enlightenment for others? How do I respond to possessions? Do I hold on like a plumber’s wrench or do I hold lightly and freely? So the helping comes from non-attachment and egolessness; or to put it another way, from a free mind of compassion and giving.

So what are you doing here? What is your plan for the New Year? What is your vocation? How will you shape your life this year? Obviously the choice is yours. May you choose with Wisdom and from the heart of Compassion underpinned by Patience. As a result of these things may you find abiding Joy. May you be blessed by the Buddhas of the Ten Directions. Amitofuo.